What a day—it changed my life forever. You see, it was me. I did it.
And I still have his tunic, covered in his blood.
It wasn’t easy making that crown. The thorns were about two inches long, and I stabbed myself while weaving it together. When I pushed the crown down hard onto his head, it wasn’t easy, but I didn’t want it falling off before we’d finished mocking him.
My friend found a purple robe, and we used it to ridicule him. We all mocked him—it wasn’t just me. But deep down, I know it was me. I killed him.
I’d scourged many people before. I had it down to a fine art—I was a professional.
Jesus was tied to the beam, ready to be whipped. The first few lashes weren’t my best; I was warming up. But as time went on, his back became like a plowed field. I was proud of my work.
When we were done, we put his clothes back on him and made him carry that beam all the way to the top. It was heavy, and at one point, he tripped and fell. I was growing impatient, so I grabbed a man from the crowd to carry it for him.
Normally, I could look straight into a condemned man’s eyes and laugh. But not this time. When I looked into his eyes, I had to turn away. He wasn’t like the others. He didn’t look at me with fear. He looked straight into me, deep into my very soul. His eyes weren’t filled with terror—they were filled with love and tenderness. It wasn’t normal. I told myself not to look again.
It was a busy day. This was the third crucifixion we’d done, but Jesus was different.
I grabbed my favourite hammer and drove the nails into his hands and feet. As we lifted him up, I could hear the sound of his joints pulling out of place.
The hours passed quickly. I was watching him when he died. At the exact moment he took his last breath, the sun disappeared, and a thick darkness covered everything. It was terrifying. From the direction of the temple, I heard a scream.
(Later, I learned that the temple curtain had been torn in two from top to bottom. That was strange.)
I took my spear and pushed it into his side. Blood and water sprayed out, covering me.
I collapsed on the ground, trembling.
Surely, he was the Son of God.